Battered Sausage #912

Apr 23
Apr 23
minterpeabotea:

nitohri:

transparent “the” from that one episode of spongebob

procrastination

minterpeabotea:

nitohri:

transparent “the” from that one episode of spongebob

procrastination

Apr 23

fyeahcaptainmarvelshair:

Marvel Sequels: No One Ever Gets a Haircut

The lead-in to Captain Marvel’s Hair: The Movie.

Apr 23
lyssalovescookies:

flailmorpho:

wastelandbabe:

lowbutt:

MY SCIENCE TEACHER CAUGHT THE TABLE ON FIRE AND HES JUST STARING AT IT

I LOVE SCIENCE TEACHERS

I’M SORRY BUT HOW BADLY DID HE FUCK UP READING HIS CALIPER?


#my environmental science teacher was demonstrating how pumice can float#so she just went around the room dropping them into people’s water bottles#but one of them didn’t float#so then she lit a match and dropped it into the bottle#and it blew up#that’s how we found out that the kid was drinking alcohol at school x
Apr 23
Apr 23

makeyoufold:

moriar-t-e-a:

rachaelsrambles:

Guys, hey, guys. Do you remember that time that Coulson called Natasha and she ended up forming the Avengers?  Remember how she did that by digging up Bruce Banner and introducing Steve to him then was the voice of reason when Tony and Steve were bickering and then how she brought Clint back from being mind controlled so that they can be a team? Remember that? Remember how the Black Widow out smarted a god? Remember that time she kept her shit together when the Hulk attacked her, even though she was really scared? Remember when she knocked an alien off his flying scooter and figured out how to drive it despite it being extrateresstrial tech, then got her ass up to the top of Stark Tower, found Loki’s staff and saved the world from being invaded by turning off the machine?

Remember how she was the central character of the whole freaking movie?

Anyone else remember that? I sure do. 

#and remember how they didn’t sexualize her #remember how she was independent and didn’t need a male crutch #remember how when loki implied that she needed a man she completely tore him down #remember how natasha romanov doesn’t take shit from nobody #especially not a man

and yet all they asked scarlet was how difficult was it to get in her suit

Apr 23

el-fridlo:

Sergeant Stubby, so named for his lack of a tail, was a stray pitbull found wandering Yale campus by some soldiers there during drill.

"He learned the bugle calls, the drills, and even a modified dog salute as he put his right paw on his right eyebrow when a salute was executed by his fellow soldiers."

He was smuggled into WW1 by a soldier, and allowed to stay when he saluted the man who would later become his commanding officer.

He was sent to the trenches where he was under constant enemy fire for over a month. He was wounded in the leg by a German hand grenade, sent to a hospital to convalesce, then returned to the front lines…

After being wounded in a gas attack, Stubby developed such a sensitivity that he would run and bark and alert the other soldiers of incoming gas attacks AND artillery attacks precious seconds before they occurred, saving countless lives. A canine early warming system.

He would go into no man’s land, find wounded men, shouting in English, And stay with them, barking, until medics arrived.

He once captured a German spy.
The spy, mapping out Allied trenches, tried to call to Stubby, but Stubby got aggressive and then chased down and attacked the spy when he attempted to flee, allowing Allied soldiers to capture him.

For this he was awarded the rank of Sergeant- the first dog to do so.

After helping the Allies retake Château-Thierry in France, Sergeant Stubby was sewn a uniform by the women of the town, on which to wear his many medals.

He went on to meet multiple Presidents, dignitaries and ambassadors and become the mascot of Georgetown University football.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sergeant_Stubby

Apr 23
pleatedjeans:

via
Apr 23

do you speak parseltongue? :P

Apr 23
Apr 23
destroyerofhopesanddreams:

rakatakat:

LOOK AT THESE COLOSSAL FUCKIN LEMONS FROM THE TREE MY BROTHER HAS PEED ON EVERY DAY SINCE HE WAS LIKE 5 YEARS OLD

your brother has some kind of super genetics we must use him for breeding purposes

destroyerofhopesanddreams:

rakatakat:

LOOK AT THESE COLOSSAL FUCKIN LEMONS FROM THE TREE MY BROTHER HAS PEED ON EVERY DAY SINCE HE WAS LIKE 5 YEARS OLD

your brother has some kind of super genetics we must use him for breeding purposes

Apr 23

cupsnake:

small birb struggles not to use friend’s fluffbum as a pillow and fails

small birb

Apr 23

dancys:

@marvel Flattery will get you nowhere! Probably. Maybe. *looks the other way* 

Apr 23
Apr 23